I am Big Show

From Hannah to You.

When my father was murdered almost eight years ago, my world was shattered and an indescribable grief consumed my entire being.  There were so many experiences, as father and daughter, that we had yet to share and someone on the planet took it upon himself to deprive me of them.  Somewhere in the haze of shock and my deep, piercing pain of loss, I forgave the culprit, whoever he was.

I realize that I may be an anomaly and to this day, I can’t really pinpoint a single reason why I forgave.  I think a number of considerations came into play:  my Christian upbringing, being overwhelmed with sadness so much so that there wasn’t any room for hate, the reality that retribution wouldn’t bring my father back, and the list goes on.

Whatever the reasons, when I chose to “live” my life again, I am convinced that forgiving allowed me to do so with more ease.  I chose to look forward to what the future had in store and directed my energies away from seeking retribution or answers and my own stagnant state of loss in favor of appreciating those special people in my life who remained and accomplishing my dreams.  The murderer took my father’s life; I would not let him take mine.

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